A Cyster's Story

Saturday, February 14, 2015

What is love?

With the Valentine's Day Spirt in the air, I thought I should share an experience I had yesterday that opened my eyes even more to what real love may be.

Now, with that in mind, let me make another statement...

I am grateful for the constant companionship of the spirit. Ladies and gents, it is such a precious gift. Sometimes it speaks to us in ways we don't even recognize in the moment.

With both of those thoughts, here's what happened...

There I was practicing in the piano lab. I was planning on staying for an hour but all of the sudden with my hour almost but not quite being up, I decided to leave, with the intention of accomplishing another errand, realizing I should drop off some belongings at my locker inside the Accessibility Center lab at the library. Hence I packed up my belongings and made my way over there.

As I was unloading at my locker to lighten my load (because believe me--it's quite a load with my school books, gym bag and Cayston supplies) it took me a moment to realize that something didn't feel right...almost eerie, and then I heard some quiet muffled sounds--almost gasps--from the back of the lab. I wasn't sure what to do at that moment when an elderly lady came out from the corner on her scooter. She must have been in her 80s. She was pretty tiny and had a pile of paperwork and school books on her lap.

"Could you help me?" She asked me in her quiet, muffled voice in between her gasps for air. I believe she thought I worked there since I don't look like I have any physically-limiting condition. So, I decided to go along with it since I could tell she was in a hurry.

It was just us two in the lab, as she had been there alone. At first I had a hard time understanding her as she was about to leave, feeling unaccomplished. She was troubled as she simply could not figure out how to print her paper for her writing class that she was running late to. It was a simple task, so I figured why not? As I had to listen carefully to the words she tried to speak, she asked for my help--not only for the printer but for the smallest tasks. She instructed me step by step on what to do as I tried to hide my nerves; I was terrified of hurting her. As she wanted me to help her slip her arm into her sleeve, I soon realized she could not move her arms at all as they were as stiff as could be, as she must have been paralyzed to a pretty good degree. It was a little difficult but I was finally able to slip it in.

Then I was buttoning up her coat and helping her get ready to leave. She insisted she no longer needed the paper printed but instead I insisted it could be done. I helped her pull out her card, swiped it, and her paper was printed. She then coached me to where she wanted her paper placed inside her folder.

As soon as it was all done, we looked each other in the eye as I could see her gratitude shine through

And her unstable voice let out a thank you as she shared her warm, sweet smile that her face managed to pull.

This experience made me think more about what true love is--perfect charity, as the Savior Himself demonstrated. As I thought about it, I was grateful for my own physical condition. Although it is not nearly as limiting--not even close, I was even more thankful for, it allowed me to have my locker there to meet and be able to reach out to this sweet woman. I felt a little inadequate as I was afraid of hurting her, but that's what the Lord does--He takes our inadequacies and turns them into something much greater to help out those around us.

It's amazing to see what the spirit leads us to do if we strive to live our lives to obey its promptings, even when we don't realize we are hearing/feeling them in the moment. We can be the answer to someone's cries when they need help. We Lord's helping hands for His sons and daughters on this earth who He loves so much.

After all, it is He who shows us what real love is.

Friday, January 2, 2015

Happy New Year!

2014--you will be greatly missed.

I would include highlights from the year, but there are honestly too many.

As I mentioned before, there was no better way to spend it than serving as a full-time, set apart missionary in Massachusetts.

As for 2015, it's going to be an epic year.

I cannot wait to seize opportunities to learn new skills and try new hobbies. Whether I actually end up liking them or not may be another story, but there are some chances out there that seem worth taking, so I'm going to take hold of some opportunities.

Running it again somewhere sometime this year.

First class since I was 10 years old begins this Monday. The skill developed pretty easily when I was 10 for 6 months before I had to quit, so fingers crossed. Can't wait. :)

There's more than this to come, much of which I have no idea what that entails.
However, I do know that my mayor is officially changed.
I'm sure wondering how working towards being a personal trainer/ nutrition specialist will all turn out! Hopefully for the better!
And I will be soon living in a condo I never paid attention to
Until all the housing contracts were being sold within literally 5 minutes and this one came up.
(Welcome to Provo with many more returning missionaries.)
Another new ward.
New roommates.
Living further from campus.

But you know what? Life is still going to be good.
I'm grateful to grab hold of every good opportunity that comes.
In conclusion, I was greatly moved by this video and song, which has inspired me even more to confidently say "I lived!"
(If you haven't watched it, WATCH IT. It's wonderful.)
2015 will be one of the years.

So, what are some plans you all have for the New Year?

Back At It

Ladies and Gents,

I'm back

From the MBM. (the Massachusetts Boston Mission, since many ask)

(In fact I've been back for almost a month now. Shhh I'm trying to get back into this blogging business.)
There really was no better way to spend this last year and a half
Including almost the entire wajoopin' 2014.

Okay... many still ask me how my mission was

But pretty much all I can say, as any returned missionary would say, "It was great."
Because honestly it was the best year and a half of my life.
There are no words that serve justice to describe it.
For any of you considering to serve a mission, pray like none other to figure out if it's what's best for you. Heavenly Father will give you your answer.

You'll have to excuse me over the next while

Because you're dealing with an awkward-as-a-jellybean-kinda-gal
Still in post-missionary lingo
Post missionary lingo: a term I made up that any returned missionary would understand. Feeling in a daze, awkward at times, trunky for the mission, still transitioning, unsure of what's going on…
Mr. Urkel here shows how it is pretty accurately:

As for coming home, I'll be a little frank here:
It was rough.
But it also has its sweetness to it. :)
And although in my own sub-consciousness I know I'm not the only one…sometimes I've wondered if my experiences have been so unique and don't usually happen when they arrive home. I'll give you an idea:

-New area. New ward. (My family moved while I was away.)

-My mom was engaged. Now, don't get me wrong--I have been extremely happy for her! She's waited a long time for this and deserves it in every way! It's just a different experience when she's usually at work or otherwise with someone knew I've never met before! But he is ~~great~~. ~~Wonderful.~~ An extraordinary guy who is honest, true, faithful, and so good to her.

-My brother is on his mission since he left when I was gone. I am finally getting used to it, but it was a different feeling somehow expecting him to walk through the front door at any given moment, but then to remember he's still down in Georgia. He is doing great things!

He and one of his former companions.

A recent baptism for someone he helped teach

-When I was unpacking my medical supplies for my treatment that first night, I came to realize, in horror, I left my treatment machine cord in Massachusetts. But then Brandon SAVED THE DAY. He MUST have been following the spirit guiding him without him realizing it. He unplugged our computer monitor cord and stuck it in the back of the machine. IT FIT. I spoke with my mission president's wife back in MA to request for everyone to look for it, but it was long gone. Hence I made do by switching the computer cord back and forth from the computer to the vest! I was able to order a new one a little over a week later.

-After being released, my family went their own ways--sister went back to in-laws', dad back to his place, and mom out with Randy for the night. Home alone with my lil (big) bro. I'll just say I'm glad that night is over. I may have bawled harder than I have in a while since the anxiety, emotional stress, the changes in life…everything hit. I would never advise any returned missionary to be practically home alone their first night!!

-When I'm at home, my mom and brother are usually at work for a good chunk of the day. (We don't live to far from our dad, but it is a little bit further.)

-I was also no longer on health insurance, since I moved states and had to re-apply. That. was. terrifying.

-With that in mind, about a week after I got home, the unplanned for happened. A cold hit. Hard. More specifically, it hit my lungs harder than I remember it has within the last few years. I won't go into too much detail, but my voice died out, sore throat began, and I won't forget the treatment one night where it hurt so badly to cough and I ended up coughing much more than I remembered. My mucus production increased from what must be my average 1/4 tsp per day to 1-2 TBSP per day. Soon enough I went in to see my doctor, deeply considering a clean out. I was placed on an oral antibiotic and slowly began to recover. Thankfully my health insurance got approved that day. On the day I was told to call to determine if a tune up was needed, I found I was doing better so we decided against it. I am still recovering and the sputum still doesn't taste that great, but it is a wonderful feeling to be able to be up and exercising again, to be up and breathing again, taking life in!
It was a close call. Almost in the hospital the week of Christmas. I am so thankful that I was able to stay home!!

With just returning, it must be natural to be desperate to serve. But it becomes more difficult with being in a new area hardly knowing anybody around here, so sometimes I don't even know where to begin...

Russell: "Good afternoon. Are you in need of assistance today?"
Carl: "No."
Russell: "I could help you cross your street."
Carl: "No."

Although it's been a little tough in some ways, there have definitely been some perks:

-About 8 months ago, Alicia (my sister) had her first child. I had seen pictures of this boy Connor every week--literally about 20-30 at time. I was thrilled to finally be able to meet him! I never thought I would a baby full of so much wonder and curiosity, joy, and love for life. Not being able to hold babies or be so close to small children (for liability reasons) was one of the hardest things about being out, yet it is now so rewarding! I also used to be terrifyingly awkward around kids (near zilch experience around them--hardly ever was asked to babysit, didn't have nieces or nephews with the exception of having cousins come form out of town every now and then). However and thankfully, with being in family wards and always around kids while on a mission, they come to love you and you come to love them and know how to act around them!

How he sometimes looks at me, still trying to figure out who I am!

He loved Grandma's toy to him on Christmas.

My other brother, Brandon, is preparing to serve his mission and will soon submit his papers. Although he is usually at work or sleeping in, I have been able to spend some good time with him. One realization that's come is he is practically my music TWIN. I mean, I went onto his iTunes just the other day to lo and behold over 600 albums…all ranging from a variety of artists such as a few of my favorites including the Beatles, Coldplay, Imagine Dragons, then 60s, 70s, and 80s classics, Brad Paisley, Sara Bareilles, and new artists who I never knew of (that's what happens when you're out on a mission) such as the Mowglis, Echosmith, Hozier…it's unbelievable. He is a pretty quiet kid so sometimes you just don't know what's going inside his head or what his interests are. This picture may give you a good idea of how I've been looking (picture me the redhead and Brandon right there)

So, as you see, with being back it sometimes feel like a roller coaster. Here's another way of showing how it is. I'm sure any RM would understand how somedays home feel like "the best day ever!" and others…well, you get the point. :)

There's many more perks, including the blessings my family has seen with Josh still out in Georgia, and to ponder and put use the ways in which have caused me to be changed forever. With all this, with being home, I still terribly miss the Massachusetts Boston Mission, but am thankful for all that I have taken home with me--the friendships, the lessons learned, skills earned, and my grown love for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ in its fullness, and for His great infinite Atonement-- infinite in terms of reach as it contains so much to continue to comprehend, and infinite as He Himself is our Infinite Savior who saved us as long as we turn to Him.
My life will never be the same from the experiences I had that have enriched my life for eternity.
But with all of this, I will always be a disciple of Jesus Christ, as He has "spiritually begotten (me) that (my) heart is changed through faith on His name." (see Mosiah chapter 5:7 in the Book of Mormon.)
Serving a mission helped me understand how to be a better disciple of Him
How to serve Him.
After all, the missionaries are only the teachers. We do the outreach to bring others closer to Him.
I know that as we align our will to our Heavenly Father's and follow it, miracles will open up for each of us. :)
Even though the missionaries wear His name on a badge, we can wear His name on our hearts and can show it. And He is right there beside us through His angels, power, majesty and influence.

So once again, I'm in the process of getting back in the swing of things.
including blogging…
More later peeps
and
GO ZION!