When I look at this picture

(I just exchanged a high 5 with the guy next to me, so that's probably why his hand is a blur. Don't worry it's nothing inappropriate.)

When this picture was taken, I recieved an award for being the student of the trimester. They choose one boy and one girl from each grade who have stood out for academic, social, athletic, etc reasons. It was a great honor to recieve this acknoledgment, but the ribbons and plaque were not exactly what mattered to me. It was what was behind it that did, making this moment special for me. Here is why...

That trimester at school was one of the hardest I had been through during my high school years. Most people I don't think realized the challenges I faced during that trimester. I even doubt the people who gave the award knew exactly what had happened to me. That trimester was supposed to be glorious when it first began. Why? It was a time that every Cystic Fibrosis patient who has a G-tube would shout for joy at when they would hear from the GI doctor "You can get your G-tube out! It will not take that long to heal up. If it does not close up within a week, call us up, but it shouldn't take longer than a week." I was vulnerable enough to believe this.
     I had my G-Tube taken out, and let me tell you it was very weird and exciting at first to just feel a guaze over the whole in my stomach. But a week went by, and it was not closed. Week after week had passed, and I continued telling myself it would close up and the disgusting gunk coming out of it would stop. But it didn't.
    I called up my doctor, and said I needed to have it closed up during spring break. They said it would only take a couple of days to heal. Again, I was very naiive to believe that it would only take 2 days to recover! And that they just had to simply stitch it up! Therefore I went in for surgery, and I was surprised to hear they would sew up each layer where the G-tube was. After the surgery, I was surprised to be in so much pain. I couldn't do anything that required my abdominals, such as eating, drinking, sitting up, laying down, laughing, walking, and worst of all, coughing. I couldn't cough at all, which was a nightmare for having Cystic Fibrosis. My doctors insisted I could, but it was literally impossible. And whenever I let out a laugh for something that was funny or a cough, no matter how small they were, I was in so much pain my stomach would tighten up immensely to the point where I could not stop bawling and I about blacked out. And lung infections increased, since my body was literally not capable of coughing. I had to fast for 3 days, and I had lost a lot of weight because after then I still had to watch what I ate.
     While all this took place, I was horrified to find out I could not attend school for 2 weeks. I was running to be a senior class officer, and I was not able to do anything. (Now this just shows how stubborn I can be!!!)...I was desperate, so I was making posters at home while still going through the pain. I had my dad take them to the school while I was on the phone with him early in the morning as he taped them up on the school walls. People wondered why I was not at school during the elections, and hardly any knew I had had a surgery. I sent out text messages asking for support the night before elections, but that was all I could do.
     After the elections, we had to show up at the school to find out who would move on to the next round. (Yes, I continued to be very very stubborn for some reason. Maybe it was because I had to have so much Loritab to decrease the pain.) So I came to the meeting, hobbling with my body tilting over because I had no abdominal strength to hold myself up. I made sure I took Loritab before I came just in case any of my friends would make me laugh for some reason while seeing them. I showed up at the meeting, but was too late as everyone just started to walk off and not even say hi to me. Many were friends of mine, and I was really wondering what I did wrong! I just had a surgery for crying out loud! I looked at the list of kids who made it through, and my name was not on there.
     And it just keeps getting better...
The next week, I was able to easily get over not winning the elections. I was glad the pressure was over with. But then there was an event that came up that most students would not stop talking about about...Prom. I was still at home, and started hearing of girls who were being asked. And I do have many friends, so it was really hard hearing about. I had never been asked to a dance, and I dreamed of being asked and going to Prom once I was healed from the surgery. I finally came to school, and almost every girl had been asked. I really was happy for them, and told them I was, but I was sad at the same time. Again, I had no choice but to let it go and move on, and just catch up with the mountain of homework I had to do.
     Then, a miracle for me. I swear, this was my Cinderella moment. The day of prom, I knew I had to let it go, but it was still difficult. I could not stop thinking about how much I had missed out on because of my stomach surgery. My wonderful mom had heard about this group of girls who weren't asked to prom going with a group of special needs kids from our school. She talked to the lady in charge, and she was able to have me go! I literally found out I was going an hour before the group activity before prom! I put on my sister's pretty blue-green dress she wore for hers, and it barely fit, and was picked up by the lady in charge of this group. There were girls I knew in the group, and I was easily able to get along with everyone in the group. The special needs kids were adorable. I had so much fun watching over them and dancing with them. It was a great night! Although I did not see a prince charming, lose a glass slipper, have to worry about hurrying home by midnight, it was a very memorable moment and a huge tender mercy from God for all that I had been through.
     So, to sum it up and talk about why this picture has to do with it...You can very much now see why this was a very difficult trimester for me. At the awards assembly, they were going to announce the students of the trimester, like they always do. First they went through all of the other awards, and then came to the student of the trimester awards. They first announced the boy and girl sophomores, and when they came to my grade I was completely surprised when my name was called. I know it's not that big of a deal, but as I walked down to pick up the award in front of the whole school, I remembered everything I had been through that trimester. Just like how hardly anyone in the school had realized my trials through my CF, surgery, and other high school moments, I realized everyone has those times. Life may appear perfect for someone, when deep down inside it is completely opposite. It is good to be nice because everyone is fighting some sort of battle. We must also realize those tender mercies in our lives and be grateful for everything we have. I was grateful to be back on my feet, and to walk again, laugh, dance, run...only because I knew what it felt like to not be able to just for those 2 weeks.