From This week

Usually I post events that happened throughout the week, but I decided to take a different turn this week...

Here is a list of awkward moments/things said/done this week:

To my Polynesian co-worker who played football and is about 6'10" or something while he was taking off his boot for his broken foot to reveal his huge calves:

"Did your leg swell up too?" when I realized that it didn't...

The time when my words got jumbled up and I called the Stats Program StatsCrotch instead of StatsCrunch, making the two guys next to me laugh hysterically...probably hence why I am majoring in Communication Disorders. jk.

Jumping up and down for joy to realize that Girl Scout cookies could be ordered online and then delivered to your door, since I don't have many ways of a transportation, but then while being frustrated, wondering why the order form wasn't working, in big letters at the top of the page it said it was only in January.

Being surrounded by a bunch of 6th graders everywhere on campus, while most of them were taller than me.

 Awkwardly getting lost while running and ending up in someone's private yard on the top of a mountain. Luckily I found my way, but I was hoping nobody was peeping through the window wondering why a redheaded girl in a running outfit looking confused was looking around their yard to see if a road was nearby.

There must have been many other moments. They happen a lot, but I'll just say every now and then. Do any of you have funny, awkard moments to share?

 

It's great, ya know?

Compressor is working at its full power. I didn't realize what I was missing out on until now!

Nothing beats being able to breathe properly again and finally ridding the sticky junk.

The half marathon training takes diligence and it's not easy, but it's great.

And...the mission papers are finally in!

Life is great :)

Trick and Treat

Here is a rambly and sort of random blog post about Halloween this year.

I went to a Halloween ward party dressed as Merida from Brave, but not many people showed up and people kept asking if I was people such as Annie, Daphne (from Scooby Doo), and more, but I thought my (brushed out) curly hair would give it away, but I guess not. Luckily my friends Chelsea and Jess were there, so we were able to dance the way we wanted to to music from decades up to 7th grade year while the lights were on.

A few days later, I promised myself I would not be distracted from the studying that needed to be done while at work. But then my awesome supervisor put a pumpkin on my desk. I jokingly said how I would love to carve it, and he said, "Sure, I have a knife in my office!" So there I was, feeling pretty awesome for carving a pumpkin at work. I started carving a pumpkin carving face I saw on Google, but wanted something not so scary and more funny. It ended up being created into an inside joke that a few people at work and I understand--long story short, we knew someone in the office who ate cat food on accident, and we all (including himself) were joking about it. His daughter got in on it, then we did too, so there's been a lot of blackmail material going back and forth from this whole thing (which is why on the pumpkin, he said he was going to "Zombify me" which is taking a picture to make me look like a zombie. Luckily we aren't Facebook friends so it doesn't matter.) It probably wasn't as funny as I thought it was, but oh well, it's Halloween which is supposed to be fun, right?

Anyways, that was about it for some-what traditional Halloween events.

But then when yesterday arrived, my roommate's mission call also arrived. We had many people crowd into our living room, waiting to hear where she was going to go. Although the mission age has changed, Dana still would have been able to turn her papers in since she is a little older than the rest of us. She has been one of the most prepared and excited people I have ever met to serve a mission. Turns out, she's going to Milan, Italy!! We are all so thrilled for her but will miss her!!

preparing to pig out on pasta, salad, and breadsticks at Olive Garden

I believe that this Halloween has opened my eyes as to how much we are all growing up. It was the first time that I wasn't too sad about not going Trick-or-Treating, but instead reminiscing on how great it was while being a kid. This year wasn't so full of Halloween parties, dressing up, or having time for scary movies, (but I had an I still ate junk food and candy yesterday.) Although I didn't participate in so much of the traditional Halloween events or atmospheres, (even atmospheres here in P-town can be very sketch for parties, dances, etc--I learned the hard way from one night that I have to be more careful), I couldn't have been happier to see my roomie open her call. It's weird how time flies, but it's exciting to see my fam and friends progress in their lives. :)

Just another one of those entries...

Lots of thoughts lately...

     Today in my ComD class, our professor started straight in on a topic...grad school. He was trying to not be so honest about things, but he was as he was talking about getting into grad school. First of all, he emphasized how important your GPA is for grad school admittance, as I felt my stomach drop like the Tower of Terror. My GPA isn't horrible, but it's not as great as everyone competing to get in grad school. Here we were, stuck in the same room, all the same major, hearing about how competitive it is and how we need to be a little aggressive about our grades. No joke, he's a great professor, and it was good he was giving this small lecture, but I felt like I was amidst the ComD version of the Hunger Games---may the odds ever be in your favor.

     From that point on today, I started worrying about my GPA, as I can be good at worrying. I wanted it to be a little higher, and was wondering what more I could do to raise it. You see, I'm the type of person who usually studies studies studies, goes to the labs, visits with the TA, and gets a C. So there I was, feeling like today was a little too extended for its own good. I started feeling overwhelmed with life as I was wondering if I would ever get into grad school, especially since I am hoping to go to school in Salt Lake once it comes around, but since that's an even more competitive school for the major, I was unsure about it all.

     So later on today I was set apart as a ward missionary (woo hoo!) Yes, that may seem off-topic, but to even be warned during the setting apart to not have it feel like a burden amid life's demands made me think Whoa! Hold your horses, this is not a burden! Was the Lord really concerned I would think that?

     Then I knew I had to change some thoughts around. It was one of those times I remembered I have CF. Why? I really hope I don't come across as arrogant here, but I thought of the people with CF who haven't had nearly as great of opportunities I have had lately and have been suffering through pain, hospital tune-ups, and more. Being part of the CF community, I've seen and heard a lot, thinking, I remember how that was or that does not sound fun at all--they're a true trooper. And here I was, worrying about school work, math problems, quizzes, and tests while so many people are going through much more. Why was I complaining about the "hard life?" Because so far, it has been very good overall as I have felt blessed to have so many opportunities, including a stupendous education. I remembered how everything is working out, and it is a great blessing to even be breathing well and and not in the hospital, but to be making friends, feeling healthy, and having a good college experience because not everyone gets that. I knew that while amidst a prestigious university/competitive major, I had to remember that none of these things are entitlements, but privileges and sometimes blessings in disguise. So, I realized that we are not entitled to the expectations that society sometimes throws such as Grad school, but if they happen, we just need to embrace them. But either way, everything is in the Lord's hands and He is in control of our lives as we do our part.
     So here I am writing another soapy blog post, but really, it's important to not compare ourselves to others or be too hard on ourselves because we may not be like other people, as good at something as others, etc because we can go far ourselves. I was talking with my roommate a little bit earlier about this, thinking about how badly I want to be part of a financially stable family because of current and past experiences, so a good education is so important to me. However, thinking about how short life could be, grad school may not even be the best option so I can spend more quality time with my future family. Everything is in the Lord's hands as He leads our lives in the direction He knows is best for us. Hopefully I will become a speech pathologist, however, it's not an entitlement and it all depends on my Heavenly Father sees best. Isn't it funny how we sometimes throw huge expectations at ourselves, when we shouldn't worry about it all so much? Sorry if this doesn't make sense, but it's just another post as thoughts have been flooding my mind all day.

For Those Tiring Days

Some of these days have been tough.
It's not like I'm trying to single out Algebra or anything, however, 2 assignments have taken me a little over 5 hours each (one was only 8 problems), and two assignments are due every week just for math, along with studying for other classes, keeping up with readings, and more.
And sometimes exercising becomes tiring, but don't worry, I'm still keeping it up :)
And sometimes I have to be very patient with my pharmacy when they don't change certain medications' dosage amounts sent twice from the doctor.
And there's only so much time in a day, that things can become overwhelming when there's so much to do.
Little sleep happens every now and then.
And finding time to cook can be hard to find.
But don't worry, I am doing better with those things now :)
I won't forget one day when I was so overwhelmed with math, work, health, and more. I don't think I smiled that day and I was exhausted while feeling frumpy and grumpy. While walking to my zumba class, a tap class's song was playing loudly to my ears "You're never fully dressed without a smile." I could feel right then the Lord was concerned and wanted me to slow down a bit, and that He was right there.
And then later on, Nephi's Psalm came up in the Book of Mormon in 2 Ne 4:20: "My God hath been my support, he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
And then it reads:
O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condensation unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of my afflictions?
And why should I yield to sin because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul?
And later on:
Awake, oh my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say "O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation."

This is one of the most poetic parts of the Book of Mormon, but it struck me, as I needed to read this. Before I felt drained and drowning, as if I was stuck in a rut. Ironically, this scripture flipped open again this morning once I felt overwhelmed once again. Nephi went through so much in his life, and he was able to acknowledge that he was going through a hard time, however, with the knowledge that Lord was there and he was blessed with so much, he was able to stand up and try again.

So simply said, many of our days can be this way, and it's ok because it's part of life and there are better days ahead. College isn't easy and I'm still learning a lot and of what matters most, and thank goodness we have the scriptures to help us remember.

Love Like Crazy

There always comes change in our lives--change that we did not cause and helps open our eyes to remember what we have.

Yesterday I received the news that a young man from my high school was in a severe car accident and passed away, with his best friend (also in my high school) being badly injured while in the passenger seat. I couldn't believe it when I heard the news. It was so sudden, and none of us were expecting anything like this to happen so quickly. My high school class is keeping him in our prayers, as we have hope that he will live.Although I didn't know them that well, I had classes with them, and their laughter and love for life was always contagious.  They were nice to everyone and wanted to live life to its fullest.

Nate, who passed away, was a good friend and example to many. You could tell he had a love for the gospel and always made people around him feel better as he brought out them.


On top of all of this, today is September 11, which brings back horrific images of what happened. I was nine at the time in school, and I had no idea what was going on. Teachers would whisper to each other with panic in their eyes, and one of my classmates said that a plane crashed into a building, but I didn't believe him. Unlike many students who watched it happening live on TV, I didn't know what happened until I got home. From then on, it was in the newspapers, on TV, places were closed, and people were scared of what may happen next or how our country would turn out. But more than that, it was nearly impossible to think of how many fought and died for our country through great sacrifice. It was a tragic event and is still remembered today, but it has helped me appreciate even more fully that I am an American. It brought us closer together as a country and helped us realize what matters most.

cool image I found online--skydivers flying the largest US flag over New York's Ground Zero last year on 09/11/11

With all this being said, these past couple of days have been a reality check to what matters most.
Don't take anything for granted.
Reach out to strangers in need.
Laugh more often and find the funny things in each day.
Express your gratitude and show love to those close to you.

This also makes me think of the chorus to one of my favorite songs:

Be a best friend
Tell the truth  
And overuse I love you  
Go to work, do your best  
Don't outsmart your commonsense 
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy 
And love like crazy

There are many other things that we can remember to do, but these events and changes that happen to else help us appreciate more what matters most.

Memorial Day Weekend

 Early Thursday morning, we packed into the van--that was, to be exact, my mom, step-mom, Josh, Brandon, and I. Alicia had flown down from Pennsylvania and my dad had driven down earlier with one of my uncles to be with the family earlier. It was another long drive to Southern Arizona, and luckily it went by quicker than it usually does.

We were able to hang out with our cousins before our Grandma's funeral the next morning. Luckily I was able to handle this funeral better with a feeling of peace after her passing. While having other loved ones live on, my testimony on the Plan of Happiness has grown. It's comforting to know I will see my Grandma Roy again, and that she is healthy and happy right now. She has been an incredible example in my life and I miss her. At her funeral, we were reminded of how she would scream at the Tv while watching sports, how she gave into Uncle Jim's "insight" on how "when you shake up the orange soda can, it mixes up the flavor better," how she had 12 temples on speed dial in case anyone needed help, and of her incredible, unshaking faith, even during times of uncertainty and difficulty. I wish I had a picture to post on here of her, but I haven't been able to scan any from home.

Friday was emotionally draining, and I even fell asleep with the music blasting in Caryn's car on the way home from one of our uncle's that night. Saturday was much better. We slept in, went to Cici's pizza, had a Bbq with the family, and then headed over an upscale mall to window shop. It was great fun! We stopped over at one of my favorite stores in Arizona, Charming Charlie's, where we took some take classy pictures.

Carly: "I'm in a tent!"

crown? Nah, it's just a necklace, but we figured it might as well be a crown

Quick funny story: I don't often share what my dream wedding will be like, and I know I'll never have a dream wedding cake like this and I'm ok with that, but we walked past a cake shop at the mall, and in the window were 3 cakes. I gasped and said, "ah I love it! It's my dream wedding cake!" Then Caryn pointed and said, "That one?"

She was only kidding haha. But I'll admit I thought it was funny. This was the one right next to it:

It was gorgeous, but I wouldn't be surprised if it cost thousands.

And third one they had one that looked like a purse. The cakes there reminded me of ones you would see on Cake Boss.

After we got home from the mall, we went to Wallmart and bought more Blue Bell ice cream, aka a piece of heaven in a carton. I believe that during the whole weekend while I was there, I ate about a 1/4 or a 1/2 of one. I even started finishing up (my favorite) the Banana Pudding ice cream straight from the carton with a spoon.

Best. Ice cream. EVER!

It was a short trip but I enjoyed spending time with family. Now that our Grandma has lived on, we have taken an oath to carry on her legacy and live by her example.

We drove home Sunday, so then I was here in Provo with nothing to do on Memorial Day while my roommate had to go to work. Surprisingly, I was able to get a lot done--go running, clean the apartment, start organizing activities for my calling in the RS presidency, and more. Then, later that afternoon, I was able to go to the hot springs with some friends. We bought Cafe Rio and ate it on a bridge, then hiked up for an hour up to the hot springs. They were beautiful and I never would have known that nature has its own jacuzzies like the few we visited. We got mud all over us from hopping out of one hot spring location and hiking to the next barefoot, but it was so much fun!

beautiful

I thought it was sweet how he carried her a lot of places with her broken ankle (it broke several weeks ago), so I took a candid

hot springs!

my friend Chelsea came with her broken ankle. What a champ!

After the hot springs, we made our hour long hike back down in the dark. We had glow sticks, but since there were a lot of people going up when we were going down, I think whoever goes up at night is nuts. Overall, it was a busy and eventful weekend that I won't forget.

Other Aspects of Being an Adult

Lately I have discovered some more tid-bits of what it's like becoming an adult. I don't know how my mom has had the patience with me as she has been teaching me so much about responsibilities that come as you grow older.

Last week, once again, I was feeling a little worried about how to pay for college. My dad had come up to me, reminding that I owe him the $450 that he lent to pay for rent, food, and more. Hopefully, I will receive a pell grant for tuition next year, but I was also wondering how to pay for rent. After I got home, my mom opened the mail. As soon as she read the letter from SSI, stating that my disability benefits were about to be terminated, I about broke down, fighting tears. How in the world was I supposed to pay for tuition and rent next year? Especially when being denied all scholarships for a lower Gpa? I was also reminded of a surgery that might need to take place soon to remove scar tissue from closing up my G-tube site. I then thought "Ok, if I have to work and go to school, then that's alright. The more work experience, the better; there's nothing wrong with more work experience." However, a few days later, I had a feeling to go to a CF blog, then questions asked by other CF patients. And there it was--a category talking all about SSI! I clicked in a jiffy, and surely enough, other patients were out there as well taking place in cyber conversations, wondering what to do once their disability benefits were terminated. They were wondering how in the world they could go to school, work, and take care of their health. The other patients were telling stories of how once they tried to balance work and school and health responsibilities, their health went down the tube, and they ended up in the hospital more often for tune-ups. I then realized it would be very tough to balance school, studying, work, and keeping up with my health. Below in the comments sections of the questions regarding SSI, they even had a number for an attorney that works specifically with CF patients.

Today my mom and I called her, SSI, and many other numbers to appeal this case. If I were able to work full-time, I would be uneligible for disability. As of now, it would be impossible to work full-time. As we spoke with the Cf attorney, she asked about my daily health regimen. We calculated my treatment time total, which included the nebs and vest, cleaning the neb pieces, exercise, and cooking to eat healthily, as it all came down to about 4 to 5 1/2 hours a day. So now we are in the process of waiting to hear how the appeal pulls through and if I keep the benefits (which the attorney said I am still eligible for them while still being on Tobi for pseudomonas and the hours put in each day for my health). If not, then it comes to possibly taking a semester off to earn money or trying to balance work, school, and health. Come to think of it, I even had a feeling that taking a semester off may be a good way to have time to remove the scar tissue from my g-tube removal that has caused some digestion trouble and cramping for a while now. After all, having all this take place could be a hidden tender mercy, and I don't know what is in store. To whoever is reading this is very patient with my rambling, I thought about how burdens and changes of plans may be tender mercies in disguise.

For a while, my future has seemed vague in many ways. Trying to earn an education, pay for it with my parents unable to help at all, and not sure how everything would play out can be difficult. I look forward to the day where I'm able to not rely on government money. Right now I am working a part-time job to gain experience and a little bit of money. And as I continue to gain more knowlege towards becoming a Speech Therapist, I will eventually do internships and graduate. From then on, graudate school would come up eventually, but I still won't forget other dreams, ambitions and future life occurences that come to mind. Oftentimes, we don't know how our desired future will come to place as everything seems a blur. But as we continue to try our best and rely on the Lord's help, then things do get better. Becoming an adult can be difficult and eye-opening as more responsibilities are placed on our shoulders. However, changes in our lives can be good as better things are in store for us, or we can be reminded of how past occurences have made us stronger and changed us in positive ways.

Wedding bells

It's still hard to believe how quickly it came up, but Alicia was married Wednesday in Salt Lake. It was a great day and everything worked out as we had hoped.

It started out by waking up and getting ready for the big day. I met up with Kara and Uncle Jon, and then we headed to their house and then to Salt Lake. Carly and I waited outside the temple when we found out Josh and Brandon had gone to Panda Express without us (shame). Everyone then filed out of the temple while we waited for Alicia and Brady. Turns out they were waiting because they thought our parents had to come get them ha :)

Waiting with Carly. Thank goodness I could hang out with her later before she headed back to the AZ.

Hmmm I wonder what my dad was staring at? ;)

the Maid of Honor and I

the Groomsmen

bridesmaids

Since Brandon isn't into hugs and kisses, his expression was priceless when Alicia tried to kiss him :)

His face was redder than her flowers

the Roy side

Siblings for eternity, and nothing can change that

I'm going to miss her!

the Moody side

We also all 'got a kick' out of how green everything was. Josh and Brandon did a little heel click

Brandon aka "the stud" and I at the luncheon

At the luncheon Brady sang to Alicia while playing the guitar. He forgot a few lyrics but it was really sweet of him to do this for her.

my favorite place :)

While getting supplies to trash Brady and Alicia's car, Josh found his pot of gold!

 The reception finally came along. We took pictures for a while and greeted guests. I was worried at first because my enzymes that my mom had picked up from the doctor were misplaced by someone, so yes I was a little tired, hungry, and cranky, and had to search everywhere for them so I could eat. But after deciding I needed to get away from the noise, I prayed in a separate room to find them, and surely enough Kara's husband found them! Losing 6 bottles of pills can be nerve racking.

Groomsmen and Bridesmaids

                                                     Pulling off the boy band look like bosses

my family :)

the Milnes

the first dance

Josh dancing with one of my cousins

The day was very tiring and by the time I got home, I crashed in bed. Who knew a wedding could be so tiring even when you're mostly standing around waiting? But it all turned out well. I already miss Alicia but hopefully I'll see her around every now and then.