My Hate/Love Relationship

I woke up this morning, feeling the busload of soreness.

Again.

And it's starting to hit...

Half Marathon...in a week?

How did this happen?

Run, weights the next day

Run, weights again

Sit ups. Push ups. Planks. Feeling like a fool with free weights at the weight room.

Run

Run

Yeah...That's been about it

But at the same time, it's been more than that

It's the pounding of my feet against the sidewalk

Feeling my stomach plummet while seeing the top of the hill miles away

My muscles screaming

The sensation of a corset wrapped around my lungs

Reminding myself to breathe properly.

Going into limbo around mile 7

Skipping through songs that I'm sick of on my Ipod

The looks of faces when I need a sudden restroom break and hurry into some random cafe.

Yeah.

Yet again

It's reaching the top of the hill, seeing over the whole valley

Or finally seeing the temple, while being at eye-level with the Angel Moroni Statue

Or jogging across a trail at the top of a hill, seeing my high school across the valley at the top of another gigungus hill.

Where I just ran from.

Feeling the adrenaline while going down the hill

Knowing my lungs are working hard

Seeing the 10.5 mark on my Nike app at the end.

Becoming stronger

I remind myself I run because I can

And it gets me going.

Because I think of those with CF literally fighting each day.

I don't understand how some can live and depend on their O2.

Or find themselves again and again in a hospital room for weeks.

It could be me sometime down the road, but let's hope not.

As for now, I'm just going to embrace what I can do and enjoy the ride.

It's a love/hate relationship.